To my great surprise in my mail, today, along with the usual bills and sale flyers I had a letter from Ex-Vice President Al Gore, who would have been our fourty-third president but for the fact that he lost the election. Now, this was quite a shock to me because I am neither a Democrat nor a member of any odd ball left-wing organizations. So, why on Earth would Al Gore, who would have been our fourty-third president but for the fact that he lost the election, be writing to me? Shaking in anticipation I tore open the envelope.
Well, it turns out that Mr. Gore, who would have been our fourty-third president but for the fact that he lost the election, was not contacting me for my thoughts on global warming, the problems in the Middle East, the internet, or any other earth shaking events. I would have been glad to express my opinions on any topic about which he chose to quiz me, but no! Mr. Gore, who would have been our fourty-third president but for the fact that he lost the election, wanted me to donate between twenty-five and five hundred dollars to the Democratic National Committee (DNC) so that more Democrats could be elected to public office. Had Mr. Gore known me better he would have surmised that the last thing I want to do is elect more Democrats to public office.
So, I took the donation card and wrote the following note to Mr. Gore, who would have been our fourty-third president but for the fact that he lost the election, on it. I quote:
Dear Al,
In reference to your nice personal note requesting that I donate my hard earned dollars to the DNC, after a lot of thought, I respectfully decline your kind offer. Your recent movie, An Inconvenient Truth, has convinced me that global warming (GW) will soon end all life on Earth. So, I can see no useful purpose in donating my money to the DNC. After all, if all life ceases to exist why would we need to elect Democrats, or any one else to public office? Wouldn’t that just be a waste of time? And, since GW is going to wipe out life on Earth, what good will my money be to the DNC? Who would be left to spend it? These are questions that need to be answered, quickly.
So, in conclusion, Al, you can chalk up my lack of a substantial donation to the DNC directly to the effects of global warming.
Respectfully,
Bob
I then carefully placed the card in the conveniently provided pre-stamped return envelope. I did not place my own first class stamp on it, as Al suggested, even though he assured me that by sacrificing my own thirty-nine cent stamp the DNC would be able use the thirty-nine cents it saved on postage to elect another Democrat. Well, it seems to me that at thirty-nine cents each Democrats sure come cheap! I thought it took about $90,000 wrapped in tin foil and hidden in a freezer , or at the very least the affections of a young intern, to buy one.
Mr. Gore, who would have been our fourty-third president but for the fact that he lost the election, should have saved the original thirty-nine cents that he spent mailing the donation request to me in the first place. Then maybe two Democrats could be elected .
Well, it turns out that Mr. Gore, who would have been our fourty-third president but for the fact that he lost the election, was not contacting me for my thoughts on global warming, the problems in the Middle East, the internet, or any other earth shaking events. I would have been glad to express my opinions on any topic about which he chose to quiz me, but no! Mr. Gore, who would have been our fourty-third president but for the fact that he lost the election, wanted me to donate between twenty-five and five hundred dollars to the Democratic National Committee (DNC) so that more Democrats could be elected to public office. Had Mr. Gore known me better he would have surmised that the last thing I want to do is elect more Democrats to public office.
So, I took the donation card and wrote the following note to Mr. Gore, who would have been our fourty-third president but for the fact that he lost the election, on it. I quote:
Dear Al,
In reference to your nice personal note requesting that I donate my hard earned dollars to the DNC, after a lot of thought, I respectfully decline your kind offer. Your recent movie, An Inconvenient Truth, has convinced me that global warming (GW) will soon end all life on Earth. So, I can see no useful purpose in donating my money to the DNC. After all, if all life ceases to exist why would we need to elect Democrats, or any one else to public office? Wouldn’t that just be a waste of time? And, since GW is going to wipe out life on Earth, what good will my money be to the DNC? Who would be left to spend it? These are questions that need to be answered, quickly.
So, in conclusion, Al, you can chalk up my lack of a substantial donation to the DNC directly to the effects of global warming.
Respectfully,
Bob
I then carefully placed the card in the conveniently provided pre-stamped return envelope. I did not place my own first class stamp on it, as Al suggested, even though he assured me that by sacrificing my own thirty-nine cent stamp the DNC would be able use the thirty-nine cents it saved on postage to elect another Democrat. Well, it seems to me that at thirty-nine cents each Democrats sure come cheap! I thought it took about $90,000 wrapped in tin foil and hidden in a freezer , or at the very least the affections of a young intern, to buy one.
Mr. Gore, who would have been our fourty-third president but for the fact that he lost the election, should have saved the original thirty-nine cents that he spent mailing the donation request to me in the first place. Then maybe two Democrats could be elected .
posted by Conservatoid at 2:29 PM
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