Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Great examples of irony …

Here are some examples of ironic happenings in the environmental world.

1. Washington State. An environmental activist who had chained herself to a tree that was scheduled to be cut down and replaced was killed when the disease weakened tree blew over in a windstorm and crushed her to death.

2. The Pacific Ocean. A Greenpeace ship was repeatedly rammed by a large whale as the GP ship stalked two Japanese whalers. The rudder of the Greenpeace ship was so damaged by the whale that the GP ship had to be towed to port by one of the whaling ships she was stalking.

3. Montana. A bear lover who called himself the "Bear Whisperer" claimed he could talk to wild bears. He was conversing with a 500 lb wild black bear when the animal attacked and severely mauled him. Evidently it was something the "Bear Whisperer" said.

4. Virginia. A bull attacked four bird watchers who ignored three warning signs, climbed over two barbed wire fences and trespassed on a farmer’s pasture. One bird watcher was butted to the ground and stomped by the thousand pound bull while the others ran for their lives. The injured bird watcher was taken to the hospital where he was treated and later released.

5. Oregon. A boatload of whale watchers was capsized by a small whale. Evidently, the whale watchers were harassing the young whale by chasing it with their boat. The whale was uninjured. The whale watchers were rescued by the Coast Guard.

6. New York City. An angry squirrel attacked a group of protesters in Central Park biting and scratching one protester. The squirrel ran into a group of five chanting enviro-protesters and chased the protesters away from a large tree under which they were sitting. It is thought the squirrel was irritated by the protester’s singing.

7. London. Four people were injured when an abandoned building near the Thames River collapsed on them. The building was scheduled for demolition due to its dilapidated condition. The injured people were protesting the building’s destruction because, they said, the building served as shelter for homeless people.

8. Brazil. Antonia Varga, a university student from Rio, climed into to a tree in the Brazilian Rain Forest to protest the local indian farmers slash and burn method of clearing land for agriculture. The farmers burned Miss Varga along with the tree. She suffered second and third degree burns to her legs and arms.

9. The Arctic. While measuring a floe of pack ice, a University of North Dakota professor noticed a baby polar bear that the professor thought was stranded on an ice floe. The professor tried to rescue the little bear but the bear jumped into the water and swam to shore. Meanwhile, the ice floe on which the professor stood broke away from the main body of ice and floated away with the professor still attached. He was rescued the next morning approximately thirty-five miles away. At last report the baby bear had rejoined its mother and was doing fine.

10. The Netherlands. Borgern Vascklsk was seriously injured when the stork he was trying to remove from a factory chimney decided that it did not want to be removed and turned on Mr. Vascklsk. Mr. Vascklsk fell approximately 35 feet to the factory roof. He suffered numerous broken bones, cuts and bruises. The stork eventually flew away.

The above are gleened from various sources, print, radio, television, and others.

Labels: , , , , , , ,

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

God bless and comfort the families of the slain students at Virginia Tech. May such an evil act never happen in this country again.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Nappy Headed Hos

Well children, since Don Imus got fired for calling a girl's sports team "nappy headed hos" I guess it's left up to me to continue his legacy. I am not sure just what a "nappy headed ho" is, but it sounds bad. So, here is my list of Nappy Headed Hos in no particular order. Feel free to adopt or add to this list. Direct all Law Suits to my Law firm, Dooey, Cheatem, and Howe.

Hillary (You owe me!) Clinton
Bill (Anybody got a cigar?) Clinton
James (Pigface) Carvill
Nancy (Mrs America) Pelosi
George Bush (For being such a dickhead and not kicking the crap out of those "Insurgents" and then not turning the Marines loose on the Democrats.)
Democrats
Republicans
Libertarians
Communists
Socialists
Barbara ( I is a Libbel.) Streisand
Susan Sarandon
Rev. Al Sharpton
Rev. Jessie Jackson
Katie Corac, Just because...
The entire cast of "The View"
CNN (The Communist News Network)
MSNBC
CBS News
ABC News
NBC News
PBS (all of it)
Entertainment Tonight
Tom Cruise, his wives and his children
Any Baldwin Brother, but especially Alec
Rosie (Fat Lesbo) O'Donnell
Donald Trump
Danny Devito
All of the Hollywood Elite (Or those that think they are elite)
Paris Hilton
Brittany (someone buy her some panties, for Heaven's sake!) Spears
The IOC (International Olympics Committee)
Synchronized Swimmers
The Nobel Peace Prize Committee
Al (Is it hot, or is it just me?) Gore
John (I am a Vietnam Vet, by God!) Kerry
John (Cut and Run) Murtha
Anna Nicole Smith's "Baby Daddy"
Any reporter who ever reported on the Anna Nicole Smith story
Any whiny liberal "Rock Star" like Bono or John Mellencamp
Any one who ever has worried about "Global Warming"
Anyone on the radio or TV that begs for money for any cause
Al Franken(stein) and Air America (Recently Defunct)
The US Department of (Non) "Education"
Iranians
Iraqis
Saudies
French
Germans
Spanish
Italians
Pakistanis
The United Nations and all of its affiliates
The US House of Representatives
The US Senate
The IRS
Anyone over 80 who whines and carries on about how bad life has been to them
Drunks
Drug Addicts
Food Addicts
The eternally depressed
The eternally upbeat
Anyone who has children but does not discipline them
Show-offs
Those too dumb to know it
Anyone who is called a "Nappy Headed Ho" and says they are scared for life by it
Et cetera...