How to Tell if You are in Danger of Becoming a Looney Liberal

Take this simple test to determine if you are in danger of falling for the Liberal propaganda and becoming a member of the Looney Left. Choose only one answer A, B or C for each test question. At the end of the test I will tell you how to determine your score and danger level.

The Liberal Danger Test

1. If I had one-hundred dollars I would:
A. blow it on Brittany Spears CDs.
B. Donate it to my favorite charity.
C. Donate it to the United Nations Fund to Save the Albanian Hairless Rat.

2. The greatest US President to ever serve was:
A. Benjamin Franklin.
B. Ronald Regan.
C. Bill/Hillary Clinton.

3. I lay awake at night worrying about:
A. who will win on Celebrity Knitting.
B. the threat of militant Islamic aggression.
C. What if they drill for oil in Alaska? Those poor moose will suffer.

4. My favorite footwear is:
A. What’s footwear?
B. my tennies.
C. my Birkinstock Sandals.

5. The kind of car I drive is a:
A. big ole Hummvee.
B. nice four door sedan.
C. bicycle. Cars pollute the environment.

6. The candidate I always vote for is the:
A. vote?
B. one I think has the best ideas.
C. Democrat.

7. I think the US Government:
A. is full of Commies.
B. wastes too much money.
C. should raise taxes to help the disenfranchised.

8. My thought on immigration is:
A. close the borders! We have too many deadbeats here, now.
B. we need a sane and fair series of immigration laws.
C. oh, those poor people. Let’s give them amnesty right away!

9. I get my news and information from:
A. the bartender at the Rub-It-Inn lounge.
B. Fox News.
C. Barbara Streisand’s web site.

10. My heros are people like:
A. Hulk Hogan, the Undertaker, and Darth Vader.
B. the brave men and women in the military who protect our country.
C. Hillary Clinton, Koffe Annon, Ted Kennedy and Al Gore

To score your danger level give yourself 5 points for each "A" answer, 10 points for each "B" answer, and 15 points for each "C" answer. Then add up your score and locate your danger level on the chart below.

50 – 95 = Very Little Danger
100 – 115 = Moderate Danger
120 – 145 = Great Danger
150 Points = LOOK OUT CINDY SHEEHAN HERE I COME

The Real "Puff the Magic Dragon"
A True Story

It’s just before dawn, we can hardly see
As we ride a big Huey in to our LZ.
"The zone is cold," says our 2nd LT.
"Intell says it’s as quiet as can be."
"It rained last night. It emptied the sky,
But the Intel says the zone is dry."
Before we ever touch the ground.
We hear the pings of small arms rounds.
Then out the door and into the grass,
Up to our knees in a soggy mess.
It appears the intell was slightly amiss
I can’t see how we’ll get out of this.
The field is muddy , wet and cold.
We’re ten young men, ten scared souls.
----
With a rotor blast of dirty wet spray
The chopper leaves us alone and afraid.
I turn around just in time to see
That the first hit is the new LT.
He folds over gasping for air.
In a flash "Doc" is there.
The LT is young, about twenty-three.
Just a couple of years older’n me.
"Doc" and me each grab an arm
And try to drag him away from harm.
A look from the medic and it’s plain to see
This company’s gonna need a new LT.
We cover his face with his steel pot.
And thank the Lord we ain’t been shot.
----
Tracer rounds and ricochets flying
No time to ponder the prospect of dying.
In the brush we hear Charlie all around.
Like a fox hears the sniffing of the hounds.
Muzzles flash, it’s the Fourth of July!
Except these fireworks can make you die.
I duck my head and hold on to my gun
I head for the woods at a dead run.
The Sarge is on the air to our HQ
Asking those geniuses what to do.
They tell us we should secure the zone.
With a curse Sarge hangs up the phone.
"Boy’s," he says with a spray of spit,
"It looks like we are in a heap of shit!"
----
The radio crackles and a voice is heard,
"Ya’ll need some help from this old bird?"
Then, from the south about treetop low
An ugly old plane flying deadly slow
She waddles in like a fat old bird,
From every lip, "Puff" is heard.
I turn my eyes straight up to heaven
‘Cause from the gun ports of that AC-47
White-hot lead sizzles and sings.
A curtain of death the "Dragon" brings.
You can never forget the rattling sound,
Like a heavy chain drug over rocky ground,
As the three mini-guns belch and spit,
At eighteen-thousand rounds a minute.

----
Like a vision that rose right out of Hell
A flying Dragon that’s come to kill.
Her breath will rip and torture the gound
Delivering death and destruction all around.
The old girl shakes to her aluminum bones.
While those big engines moan and drone.
She places ninety-thousand rounds.
In one-hundred yards of muddy ground.
In the overgrown field and in the brush,
The trees and grass turn to ragged mush.
Then pulling straight up after the pass,
Her props whip up the shattered grass.
----
When she’s through there’s nothing worth seeing.
At least nothing that resembles a human being,
Just clumps of meat and bloody rags.
It’s enough to make the strongest man gag.
She’s done what she was designed to do,
She has killed a lot to save a few.
Amid the radio static a voice comes through
"Just tell HQ "Spooky 2" passed through.
No need for thanks. It’s what we do.
Glad we could be of service to you.."
She wiggles her wings and flys away,
I know she saved my life, that day.




"Puff the Magic Dragon" was the nickname used by the Air Force during the Vietnam War for the Douglas AC-47 Gunship. She carried three mini gattling guns, each capable of firing 6,000 rounds per minute, or 100 rounds per second. It was said that a "Dragon" could place one round in every square inch of an area as wide as a football field on a single pass. The call sign for the AC-47 Gunship was "Spooky". No one can estimate the American lives she saved or the enemy lives she took during the Vietnam war.

Top Ten Reasons Not to Vote Democratic in the Upcoming Elections

10. A Democratic Congress combined with a Democrat President will most assuredly cut and run from the War Against Islamic Aggression.

9. Democrats will raise taxes to pay for social programs that only serve to create more Democrats.

8. The United Nations. This massively corrupt, Anti-America bureaucracy is the creation a Democrat President, FDR. In it's 61 years in existance it has not stopped one war or freed one nation from tyranny. Democrats love the UN. It is their highest ideal representing the Socialist world they would like to see. Now, the UN is demanding the right to tax the citizens of member nations, read: the United States, so that the UN will not have to depend upon countries, read: the United States, paying their dues to carry out its failed programs. Many Democrats are in favor of this idea.

7. Democrats will find a way to legalize the thirty million illegal aliens already in this country and will provide ways for more to enter. Why, because Democratic social programs will encourage these criminals to vote Democratic once they are legalized thus keeping the Democratic voting base strong.

6. Democrats believe in and want to create a Socialist government for America.

5. The sad state of the American public school system is a direct result of federal interference under Democratic leadership.

4. Abortion. Democrats whine over lost lives in the War Against Islamic Aggression yet they are perfectly willing to destroy unborn lives by the thousands because, "It should be a woman’s right to choose."

3. The Democratic high religion is Government, not Christianity, Judaism, or any other established religion.

2. Socialized health care. Democrats love this idea. Free health care for all! Just look at Canada and England to see how well this idea works.

And the Number one Reason NOT to vote Democratic…

1. Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, Al Gore, Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, Robert Byrd, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, Russ Finegold, Dianne Finestein, Daniel Inouye, Harry Reid, Barbara Streisand, George Soros, Ed Asner, MoveOn.org., Air America, Green Peace, PETA, Al Sharpton, Jessie Jackson, The Great States of Massachusetts and California, and any number of other loons, nut cases, whackos and idiots.

How come you never hear of an Islamo Fascist leader blowing themselves up for the cause? It is always the young and the stupid that are chosen to drive the bomb-laden cars or to wrap themselves in sticks of dynamite. I guess that proves one of two things. One, the Islamic leaders are smart enough to get morons to do the dirty work for them, or two, the Islamic leaders do not have the resolve of their convictions. Either way it is not the hate spewing mullahs who wind up in a million pieces in some fruit market. I guess that it also proves Arab children are not very bright.

Example:

Mullah – "Ok, who wants to put on these gasoline undershorts and go ride an Israli bus?"

Arab Children –" Me, Me!!"
Mullah – " Allah chooses… uhm … Ahab!"
Ahab to other children – " Nah, Nah, Nah! Losers!" Sticks out tongue.
Other Arab Children – "Ahab is a Allah’s pet!"

Islam is some religion. The only way to assure yourself of going to heaven is to die in a holy war. Otherwise, you just have to take your chances that Allah will let you in, based upon your good works, I guess. So, what would those good works be, you ask? Well, talking some poor, uneducated, smuck into strapping on a TNT girdle would be a good start. After all, Mohammed said, when asked how to get to heaven, "Go kill yourself and some others in the name of Allah," or something to that effect.

Example:

Moslem at Gates to Heaven – "Hi, can I get in?"
Allah to Moslem – "What good works have you done?
Moslem – "Well, I lived a good life, was kind to my neighbors, had many children, read the
Koran every day, and never hurt anyone."
Allah – "Enjoy Hell. Next."
Next Moslem – "Hi, can I get in? I flew a fully loaded passenger jet into a building and killed
Thousands of people."
Allah- "Welcome to Heaven! Here’s your virgins. Have fun!"

As a card carrying Baptist I have been assured by a very high authority, namely Jesus Christ, that all I have to do to attain eternal bliss is to, "Love God with all my heart, mind and soul, love my neighbor as myself, and accept Jesus Christ as my savior." You will notice that nowhere there does it say, "blow yourself up." You will, also, notice that nowhere does it say I will be given seventy virgins upon my acceptance into Paradise. Since I am almost sixty years old, I don’t know what I would do with seventy virgins, or even seven virgins, one maybe I could handle if she weren’t too athletic.

So, while dumb Arab children incinerate themselves because some radical religious nutcase tells them to, I will continue to read my Bible and pray that the Islamic world is someday able to join the sixteenth century.